10 Chicago Cubs Players As Taylor Swift Eras

I don’t expect this to be something that is for everyone. I’m trying to find a very specific group of people that are both: 

1. Cubs fans
2. Swifties

And I’m not necessarily positive there’s a massive overlap when it comes to that specific venn diagram. That being said, as my wife and I began dating, we always tried to share in each other’s interests. As I taught her about the roster of the 2016 Cubs, she would explain to me that there was an alleged ten-minute version of her favorite song from the Red album.

Both the Cubs and Taylor Swift have played an important role in our lives and our relationship and when Taylor Swift plays her shows in Chicago this week I thought it would only be right to work with my wife to come up with which Chicago Cubs players best represent each of Ms. Swift’s iconic eras. We’re about to get into the weeds with some truly terrible puns. You have been warned.

Debut (Taylor Swift)- Kyle Hendricks (RHP)

Aside from David Ross, Hendricks is the only player left from that 2016 World Series team and he’s a player that only the true fans still love. Debut had a few hits on it, and the Professor has been known to pitch to contact and give up some hits in his starts, but this is the OG. The comfort food when you need a little nostalgia. 

It may not get as much love as some of the newer albums, but when Our Song comes on and it hits just right, everyone is ready to belt it out. 

There’s also a little bit of heartbreak in this album. You can’t tell me that when Kyle Hendricks thinks of his old battery-mate Willson Contreras playing for the hated St. Louis Cardinals he doesn’t think You Should’ve Said No. Or that losing Javier Baez, Anthony Rizzo and Kris Bryant in a 48 hour timespan didn’t leave some teardrops on his proverbial guitar. 

Finally, we’re all expecting Debut: Taylor’s Version at some point soon. A completely remade version of something that we all already loved. Not too dissimilar from Kyle Hendricks shutting down to work on his shoulder to try to figure out a way to keep pitching through something that may have ended other, lesser, pitchers’ careers. 

Moral of the story, Kyle Hendricks is the last member of the greatest team the Chicago Cubs have ever had and therefore he’s the only one on this roster that has enough of us to break our hearts. Luckily for us he’s back in the rotation, just like Debut will be when Taylor releases her version. 

Fearless (Taylor’s Version)- Ian Happ (OF)

Ian Happ is a solid player. He has modified his game a little bit from when he was drafted as a power-hitting middle infielder that eventually got some play in centerfield and then found his true home as a gold-glove left fielder. He also traded in some of that power to become an on-base machine and this year he’s got an on-base percentage of .394 at the time of writing. 

Taylor did something similar with Fearless. She began to make the transition away from country music and towards pop music. There’s still a little twang, just like Happ has been known to launch a few tape-measurer homers when he really wants to, but you started to be able to see the artist that she wanted to grow into with this album.

Finally, before the trade deadline in 2022, just about everyone expected the Cubs to trade Happ and Contreras like they had traded every other key piece in the first major rebuild. However, Jed Hoyer thought of his favorite song and likely went to Ian and said “You Belong With Me” (where “me” is the Chicago Cubs). Happ spent the beginning of this season fearlessly playing without an extension and when Jed brought the contract to him after the season had started in April Ian decided that this is too good of a Love Story and even though he probably could’ve gotten more money on the open market he just said… yes.

Speak Now- Matt Mervis (1B)

For those of you that don’t know, Taylor Swift likes to write her own music and she wrote Speak Now completely on her own. She had a handful of songs on the album that really showed her range as a songwriter like Dear John (which definitely is not about John Mayer), but then she also had some songs that showed some room for personal growth like Better than Revenge, which makes perfect sense because she was still only 19 when she was writing the album and 20 when it was released.

Matt Mervis can be described in a pretty similar way. He went through a really rough time as his final season at Duke was taken away from him by COVID and he went undrafted. He had to do everything himself in order to make people notice him and change their perceptions of who he was as a hitter. He has had some ups and downs since getting the call-up to the Majors in May and still looks like he has some room for personal growth against exceptional left-handed pitching, but you can start to see what he’s got if you watch the good stuff.

Finally, the title song is literally about breaking up a wedding. While Eric Hosmer and the Cubs may have only been engaged (maybe just dating?), Mervis showing up definitely put an end to that relationship as Hosmer was kicked to the curb and left at the altar when he was DFA’d by the Cubs only a couple of weeks later. 

Red (Taylor’s Version)- David Ross (Manager)

David Ross is one of the most important players in the history of the franchise whether fans choose to remember it or not. He hit a home run in Game 7 to become the oldest player in baseball history to do so. He was the steady hand that was needed to catch the rest of the game after Kyle Hendricks was pulled. He may make some questionable decisions as a manager, but as a player the stats don’t show how meaningful he was that season. 

A lot of the comparisons here are going to come from Grandpa Rossy’s relationship with upper management and specifically with Jed Hoyer. 

I think we can all agree that the bullpen this season has left a fair amount to be desired and Hoyer himself even came out and said as much, stating that he hadn’t given Ross the tools to succeed. Treacherous. Every time Ross made a call to the bullpen in May to either get Keegan Thompson or Michael Fulmer he had to think I Knew You Were Trouble when they would inevitably walk in some runs. Much like Red was robbed of a chance at winning a Grammy, Grandpa Rossy has been robbed of an opportunity to field a winning team for the last couple of years.  

When Ross heard that Theo Epstein would be stepping down almost immediately after hiring him, he probably begged him to Stay Stay Stay, but the real reason that David Ross is the Cub to represent Red is because he does remember All Too Well what it was like to have a team that was the best in the league. He probably looked at the roster that he had in 2020 and said to Jed, “this thing was a masterpiece til you tore it all up.” All we can hope is that this year will mark the end of the rebuild and we won’t have to watch it Begin Again.

Reputation- Cody Bellinger (OF)

This one may be low-hanging fruit but not many people expected Taylor Swift to come out of her time away from the music industry and come back with a great album. Sure, she had a history of being one of the biggest artists in the world, but had she lost her touch?

The same could be said for Bellinger to start the season. This was a gold-glove center fielder that had won Rookie of the Year, MVP, and a World Series, but the baseball world had given up on him. 

Well this season the Old Cody Bellinger couldn’t come to the phone. Why? Because he’s dead. The new version of Bellinger that we saw in April was a base-stealing, home run-hitting, comeback player of the year-winning, son of a gun. 

When he returned to Los Angeles he was given a standing ovation that lasted so long that he received a pitch-clock violation. He had to be looking at the fans and thinking Look What You Made Me Do. As much fun as he’s been to watch this year, he Did Something Bad to his leg when he came down awkwardly in the outfield and will hopefully be coming off of the injured list soon. 

Lover- Miguel Amaya (C)

Miguel Amaya represented the Chicago Cubs in the Futures Game in 2018 and 2019. And then we all Forgot That (He) Existed. That was primarily due to the Cruel Summer of 2020 that saw the Minor League Baseball season canceled in a very similar way to LoverFest being canceled and dashing the hopes and dreams of Swifties everywhere.

After losing the 2020 season Amaya then played in less than 70 combined games over 2021 and 2022 due to various lower leg injuries and his prospect star faded and it really did feel like Death By A Thousand Cuts.

That being said, the trainers kept telling him that Soon You’ll Get Better, and that’s what has happened this season. Much like Taylor Swift surprised all of us when she dropped All Of The Girls You Loved Before claiming that it was a Lover track, Amaya did the same thing by shocking the world and making a few starts at catcher after Yan Gomes went down with a concussion.

Since Amaya has returned to AAA Iowa he’s looked like The Archer, while would-be base-stealers have been his prey. We all know that most of what a catcher does is not at the plate, it’s with the pitchers, and I trust that Amaya has the ability to tell a struggling pitcher You Need To Calm Down, and they’ll actually listen. 

Folklore- Justin Steele (LHP)

Folklore kind of came out of nowhere and surprised everyone. Taylor Swift had canceled LoverFest and she wanted to give fans something to look forward to in a time when there really wasn’t much going on but misery. 

Justin Steele did pretty much the same thing. Over the last year Justin Steele has been one of the best pitchers in all of baseball, coming seemingly out of nowhere and giving Cubs’ fans something to look forward to in a time when there really isn’t much going on but misery.

The album was a little different than what we had come to expect from Taylor but it was obviously still excellent, even if it wasn’t a mainstream pop hit. Justin Steele has been the same. He’s an obviously excellent pitcher, but not one that mainstream baseball outlets will recognize in any meaningful way. 

He may not be The 1 in this rotation right now; that honor still belongs to Marcus Stroman. However, when he was pulled from his most recent start with forearm tightness I have to admit My Tears Ricocheted at the idea of having to try to put this season back together without him in the rotation. 

Evermore- Drew Smyly (LHP)

Evermore is a lot like Folklore. Both albums have Swift experimenting with a more indie type sound rather than the pop or country music that had originally been her brand which left some of her newer fans feeling left out. 

Drew Smyly is not dissimilar from Justin Steele. They’re both left-handed pitchers that use movement and command far more than velocity in a league that tends to put more value into the latter. 

Much like the two aforementioned albums don’t receive as much love from fans, Smyly and Steele are often left out of the pantheon of great pitchers when it comes to random baseball fans. It doesn’t matter that both of them are in the top twelve in ERA in the National League, fans prefer the name value of Corbin Burnes (18) or the velocity of Hunter Greene (20). 

Drew Smyly lost his opportunity at history in what would end up being a 13-0 rout of the LA Dodgers on April 21st. It’s tough to lose a Perfect Game in such a way, but to come away with that big of a victory makes it feel like Champagne Problems. 

Midnights- Michael Fulmer (RHP)

If you’ve made it this far and you haven’t given up due to all of the terrible puns, then you may be thinking: “How in the holy hell does Michael Fulmer continue to receive recognition?” I wouldn’t blame you if that’s what you’re thinking, but bear with me.

When Midnights was released, Taylor Swift became the first artist in history to hold all of the top ten spots on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart. That’s a lot of hits.

If there’s one thing that I think we can all agree on, it’s that Michael Fulmer gives up a lot of hits. 

It’s kind of a bummer way to end this otherwise really fun article, but that’s what we managed to come up with. Either way, I hope anyone that is lucky enough to be attending the Eras Tour this weekend or any weekend for that matter has a marvelous time. Long Live Taylor Swift and Long Live the Chicago Cubs.

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