Latest free agency rumor is nightmare fuel for Cubs fans everywhere

Andrew Chafin spent just half a season with the Chicago Cubs - well, technically a season and a half, but in 2020, with no fans in attendance, it was tough to form the same bond with players. Regardless, the fanbase embraced him - and continues to love him to this day - with some daydreaming of a potential reunion this offseason.

How can you not love a guy who used Cubs Twitter to crowd-source a new car after learning his truck didn't fit down the narrow side streets in the city? A 2.13 ERA in a Cubs uniform from 2020-21 doesn't hurt matters either. Given the team's need for a reliable left-handed reliever, Chafin makes a ton of sense for Chicago - but they're not alone in their interest.

According to a new report from Jon Heyman, the New York Yankees have Chafin 'high' on their list of left-handed relief targets. The veteran left-hander split the 2024 season between Detroit and Texas, and struggled a good deal after the mid-year trade to the Rangers, posting a 5.44 FIP and 1.655 WHIP down the stretch.

In 41 appearances with Detroit, though, the numbers were far more encouraging: a 2.54 FIP, 1.378 WHIP and 12.2 K/9. Control issues have become a bigger concern since he left the Cubs, with a walk rate that's crept up to nearly 5 BB/9 since the start of the 2023 season. That being said, the familiarity between the organization and Chafin could help Chicago have a leg up for a potential reunion.

But let's just suppose Heyman is correct and Brian Cashman is zeroed in on Chafin. I want to paint you a truly terrifying picture. Big Country himself, coming out of the Yankees bullpen - with a buzz cut and a neatly trimmed mustache or - god forbid - clean-shaven. The world doesn't need those types of vibes heading into 2025.

So here's to hoping Jed Hoyer can spare us all that sleep-ruining, world-wrecking sight and work something out to bring Chafin back to Wrigleyville. The Cubs get that badly-needed left-handed relief piece, the Yankees can just reunite with Tim Hill and the universe can move on without any of us ever needing to see the beloved southpaw beat over the head by the Yankees' antiquated grooming rules.