Chicago Cubs: What if the fans gave nicknames based on performance?

(Photo by Stacy Revere/Getty Images)
(Photo by Stacy Revere/Getty Images) /
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Chicago Cubs
(Photo by Victor Decolongon/Getty Images) /

Fan’s Weekend Nicknames for the Cub’s Pitchers

I belong to several Chicago Cubs Groups on social media, and most of the groups agree about the Cubs bullpen pitchers and possible nicknames to include: Dumpster Divers, Done, BS-pen and others that are not printable.  We’ve seen some positives come from Cubs pitching lately and we’ve seen some disasters. Here are the 2019 Fan’s Weekend nicknames for pitchers.

Jon Lester – Yes Jon has had some bad games, and he’ll be the first to admit it. When he gets his act together, there is no stopping this Texas Tornado, who fights bases-loaded situations with no outs and wins! Now that’s a fighter! Lester’s Fan’s Weekend nickname is Scrapper.

Yu Darvish – For all the people who talked crap about Darvish last year, I love it when he conquers and destroys other teams and makes his detractors look foolish. Recently he blew up against the Giants, but that game was an anomaly. He has been one of the Cub’s best this season, time and again. It would be helpful for his team to give him some wins for as hard as he’s pitched.  Darvish’s Fan’s Weekend nickname is Ghengis.

Kyle Hendricks – There have only been a few teams that have figured out Hendricks when he’s on the mound. The ones that haven’t figured him out, he takes to school like students of the game.    Hendricks’ Fan’s Weekend nickname is still The Professor.

Jose Quintana – Do not screw with this young man or he will make you pay. Just the way he faces those batters head-on, shoulders forward, says, “I dare you to try and hit. Come on, try it”. Quintana is destroying the competition and proving to be the only consistent Cubs hurler in the bunch. Quintana’s Fan’s Weekend nickname is The Punisher.

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Cole Hamels – I think, and I may be proven wrong down the line (and that’s okay with me – cause Cubs win) that we have gotten the best out of Cole Hamels. There is reason that the back office folks were indicating he could move on right after he came off his injury and are considering a Philly reunion next season. Hamel’s has not been the same since coming off the injury.  Hamel’s Fan’s Weekend nickname is Philly Fodder.

Pedro Strop – Strop has fallen hard. Between giving up multi-run leads and filling bases with runners, Strop has not looked good recently. There is minimal trust to put him out there when you could put Wick or Ryan out there with much more confidence. He might as well start counting steps if he is going to walk that many batters. Strop’s Fan’s Weekend nickname is Pedometer.

Craig Kimbrel – In a shout out to “The Game of Thrones” we got the guy who makes other teams shake, and I love it! It’s like we got our own Josh Hader but better cause we get that wild scarecrow look before every pitch and scares the heck out of batters who have never seen it live at-bat. I feel like we’re getting our money’s worth every time he pitches. Gosh, he reminds me of Tormund!  Kimbrel’s Fan’s Weekend nickname is The Wilding.

Tyler Chatwood – Other than a lackluster showing against the Giants recently, Chatwood has been, well, dare I say, “dependable.” So I’m going to make this short and sweet because Chatwood has been the GO-TO this season. Chatwood’s Fan’s Weekend nickname is Money.

Brandon Kintzler – Kintzler did an excellent job against the Giants the other night. He’s sometimes up and sometimes down just like the rest of the bullpen. More times than not, Maddon is calling him up, simply because Kintzler gets the strikeout. It just so happens to be the first letter of his last name as well. Kintzler’s Fan’s Weekend nickname is K (backward).

Derek Holland – Man I was ticked that Holland did not show up against his former team the Giants the other night ala Hamels/Phillies. Let’s face it though; he usually carves up left-handed hitters. Holland’s Fan’s Weekend nickname is Southpaw Assassin.

Has anyone noticed that some of our new bullpen acquisitions all have Hollywood names? It looks like Epstein is an action movie fan. I wonder if we’ll be getting a Rambo soon? Anyway, here they are, the Cubs Hollywood trio:

Rowan Wick –  Wick has been incredible on the mound. He takes out batters almost as good as his Hollywood counterpart – John Wick. He’s gotten our attention with a killer fastball. Does he have a dog? Wick’s Fan’s Weekend nickname is Mr. Wick.

Kyle Ryan – Of course, he can come in and save the day, that’s what the Hollywood Ryan’s do. Ryan and Wick have been the one-two punch Maddon has been looking for out of the bullpen whenever there is “Clear and Present Danger” at home plate.  Ryan shows no fear as he “Hunt’s for a ‘Blue’ October.” Ryan’s Fan’s Weekend nickname is Jack Ryan.

David Phelps – When there is no hope, it’s time to call on the “Mission Impossible” man himself: Phelps. Phelps carries the brand well as he eliminates targets for outs; should he choose to accept it. Phelp’s Fan’s Weekend nickname is Jim Phelps.