Chicago Cubs: Fan’s Weekend means we get to pick the nicknames

The Chicago Cubs had their turn during Player’s Weekend. Now it’s my turn, in what I’m calling Fan’s Weekend to pick nicknames based on performance (or lack thereof).

Well Chicago Cubs fans, it’s finally here. This is one of my favorite weekends of the year. It always follows Player’s Weekend in my Margarita mind, and I call it, “Fan’s Weekend.” Basically I get to pick some new nicknames for the players based on their performance this year. What nicknames would you give the Cubs players this year? Oh boy, I can hardly wait…

Without further ado: these are my 2018 Fan’s Weekend nicknames for the Chicago Cubs.

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Anthony Rizzo (Slugger) – Rizzo has turned it on in an amazing way this season. Maybe it was the absence of Bryant and the pressure of adding talent like Daniel Murphy that has made Rizzo step up.  With 22 home runs under his belt, he is 10 away from tying his 2016 and 2017 number of 32. Rizzo is none other than, ‘Slugger’.

Ben Zobrist (Mr. Clutch) – Is there anyone who has stepped up time and time again for the Cubs more than Zobrist? Put the game on the line and Zobrist up to bat and I guarantee we win. As I’m writing this the vet hits the go ahead RBI against the Mets in the bottom of the seventh inning in their first meeting. Ben Zobrist is none other than “Mr. Clutch”.

Addison Russell (Pinky) – I know it’s not Addison’s pinky finger, but his injured fingers are causing him issues now. Even though, the guy has already turned 60 double-plays! That’s the same amount he did in all of 2016 and beyond his 49 last year and we’ve got games to go.  It may sound a little feminine until you run into his tag. Yea, that’s right! You were just tagged out by ‘Pinky’.

Javier Baez (MVP) – Need I say more?

David Bote (Real Deal) – This guy has nothing to prove to anyone. He has been Kris Bryant since Bryant has left. He can hit and he can play. Bote is none other than the ‘Real Deal’.

Daniel Murphy (The Natural) – Murphy has a pure swing that makes contact better than anyone in the National League. He has invigorated the Cubs offense. Not to mention, he’s played excellent defense and has complimented his teammates perfectly on the field. Murphy is clearly ‘The Natural’.

Tommy La Stella (Batman) – Did you ever notice La Stella’s bat looks almost as big as him? It must be his thin Edwards-like figure that makes the bat look so big. No wonder he can put it on the ball every time! With that in mind, let’s go with ‘Batman.’

Kris Bryant (KBote) – Kris Bryant’s nickname should be KBote. After all, David Bote has made fans forget about Kris Bryant’s amazing contributions on both sides of the ball during his absence.  Every good play makes us forget a little more. Maybe the boss should split the innings when Bryant returns cause if it ain’t broke… (please Kris, make me regret this.)

Chicago Cubs: 2018 Fan’s Weekend Outfield nicknames

Kyle Schwarber (Bub) – Don’t think I haven’t noticed that Kyle has put on a little weight since spring training when he was lean and mean. My first report for the Crib was on how he had transformed himself. However, how could I throw stones since I also predicted 40 home runs for him and he is sitting at 24. Kyle needs six more to tie last year’s career-high and he’s well on his way to do that. I love his aggressive hitting style but he hasn’t earned, “Babe” just yet.

Ian Happ (Ivy) – Happ has made some of the most amazing catches this year while banging his body into the brick hiding under the Ivy. Some of that’s gotta be rubbing off on him, right?

Jason Heyward (Responder) – Time and time again, Heyward answers the call. His batting is off and he responds by getting hot.  His team needs a hit and he responds. The team needs a play in the outfield? You guessed it – he responds.

Albert Almora (Animal) – Albert has earned the Animal title from the amazing plays he has made this season in the outfield. There is no doubt that Almora gives his entire body to the game when he is on the field. He attacks every play with a primal ferocity that makes him elite.

Chicago Cubs: 2018 Fan’s Weekend catcher’s and pitcher’s nicknames

Willson Contreras (The Arm) – Contreras may jump around like the Beast, but his small compact frame packs a mighty arm. Ask any opposing baserunner looking to take a bag or a guy who was sleeping off first – they’ll attest to this nickname in a heartbeat.

Victor Caratini (Chameleon) – This guy has played catcher 23 times, first base 15 times, third base twice and who knows what’s next? Recalled what seems like a million times from Triple-A, we’re hoping he stays this time. Caratini is this young team’s Chameleon. – adaptable to any situation.

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Jon Lester (Puncher) – This guy fights his way through innings. He is out there on the mound scrapping with batters and baserunners alike. I love it when he throws out those dopes at first base. Even better is when he delivers that knockout punch to a team’s hopes on an afternoon at Wrigley.

Kyle Hendricks (First) – It’s no secret that the first innings of games have been killing Hendricks all season. The good thing is, in the successive innings he usually wins! Lately he’s been using, “First” as his mantra getting through batters easily in the opening inning.

Yu Darvish (Promise) – Darvish’s promise for the future, meaning next year, is clearly unknown. The big right-hander  promises to be back better than ever. Theo Epstein and Jed Hoyer are hopeful because they have five more years and $100 million sunk into this promise.

Cole Hamels (Mechanic) – Hamels is like an assassin on the mound. Through 39 innings, Hamels has just a 0.69 ERA with a 38-to-11 K/BB ratio and no home runs allowed. The acquisition of Hamels is easily one of the best complimentary moves the Cubs made this season. This guy knows hitters inside and out much the same as a mechanic knows what’s under the hood.

Jose Quintana (Desperado) – As Quintana stands with his squared shoulders facing batters, he reminds me of the gunslingers from the Lee Van Cleef and Clint Eastwood movies of old. He has had a tough time this season but  I know the gunslinger is ready to punish more batters before the show ends.

Chicago Cubs: 2018 Fan’s Weekend Pitchers nicknames

Mike Montgomery (Biz) – What I like about Mike’s pitching is that he goes to work like it’s not personal, it’s just business. He gets in a slump, he gets himself out. He starts nailing it, he kills it permanently. He used to be much more unpredictable but now it’s just another day at the office.

Brandon Morrow (Devastation) – The devastation might have been to his own body as Morrow has been out multiple times with injuries. Going in, Epstein knew his closer would need lots of rest. But when will he be back?  Part of me thinks this is an Epstein-Maddon plan to rest Morrow until the postseason and then Morrow appears dealing out domination to hitters. The team needs to get Morrow back to complete his pitching dominance or it will be Epstein’s devastation.

More from Chicago Cubs News

• Cubs: Adrian Sampson is forcing his way into the conversation
• Projecting the Chicago Cubs bullpen to open the 2023 season
• Cubs fans are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel
• Justin Steele has evolved into a frontline starter for the Cubs
• The future of first base is murky right now for the Cubs

Steve Cishek (Killer) – Now this may seem like too obvious a nickname or one that almost anyone could get but Cishek has been setting down batters like it’s going out of style with a 1.68 ERA and 66 strikeouts in 59 innings. He has been amazing this season and when the Cubs go to the postseason, it will be Cishek getting us through the tough innings.

Brandon Kintzler (Blue Baron) – Kintzler came to the Cubs from the Washington Nationals. His performance so far has been just… okay. Knowing what Kintzler did in Washington, it must be just a matter of time before Kintzler is killing it like the Red…uh, that is the “Blue Baron” on the mound.

Pedro Strop (Teaser) – Pedro loves to tease the strike zone when he pitches and batters have been falling for it left and right this season. You think that slider might hang out in the zone, but you swing and next thing you know, Willson Contreras catches it in the opposing batter’s box.

Carl Edwards Jr. (Cold Brew) – Yes, that’s what I want to drink when Edward’s pitches. Edwards up and down journey does not instill trust. When Edwards is on, he is awesome. He can be cold as ice up there on the mound and doing it one, two, three like he showcased this week.  Other times, it’s like a bubbling brew ready to explode with walks and flirtation with disaster.

Jesse Chavez (Shades) – He can wear whatever he wants the way he is throwing the ball. Period.

Justin Wilson (Jussey James) – Another cowboy reference from our bullpen due to the fact that Wilson slings the 94 MPH four-seam heater like a pistolero. Wilson is 4-3 with 60 strikeouts and only 30 walks.