Chicago Cubs: Team will shore up the staff with … Bartolo Colon?

(Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)
(Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images) /

This time of year, you get some real head-scratcher trade proposals. But this recent one concerning the Chicago Cubs is a real doozie – to say the least.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying what we write here at Cubbies Crib is perfect by any stretch. But I’d at least like to think we’d never roll out something about realistic trade proposals for each team that involved the Chicago Cubs signing a 45-year-old as a depth piece in the starting rotation.

That’s right. That 45-year-old. You all know and love him. Big Sexy himself, Bartolo Colon.

The article in question, written by Bleacher Report, has some solid ideas in there. Manny Machado to the Cardinals? (God, I hope not – but it makes sense). Cleveland going for it and adding another top-tier bullpen arm? Also makes a whole lot of sense.

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But you mean to tell me the Cubs’ backup plan if Yu Darvish continues to battle injury is Bartolo Colon? Sweet lord, I sure hope not.

He’ll eat innings, sure. Since the start of last season, the right-hander totaled 40 starts – amassing  217 2/3 innings in the process. While that might sound like inherent value – I beg to differ. There’s a different between eating innings and surviving against big-league pitching. And, to be clear, Colon definitely trends more in the latter category than the former.

Let’s look at the big picture here

In those 40 starts, the hefty righty carries a 5.95 ERA, 5.36 FIP and 11 hits per nine. Yeah, no. If I wanted that, I’d just give John Lackey a call and see if he can skip the lake time for a couple months to come back. But I don’t. At all.

And I’m not saying Chicago isn’t going to add pitching depth. They very well may – especially after losing Eddie Butler to the 60-day DL with a right groin strain. But let’s say Darvish does come back at 100 percent ready to rock. That gives the Cubs six starters including Mike Montgomery, who’s been lights-out filling in for the injured Darvish.

While a Bartolo Colon deal certainly wouldn’t cost much (as is pointed out by the article in reference), that’s not the point. You don’t make moves just to make moves. If all you want is a barely-serviceable arm to make spot starts, there are more than enough names at Triple-A Iowa.

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And in using these young guys, at least they’re gaining valuable Major League experience and developing their game. In Colon, you get a guy who isn’t even on the back nine of his career. He’s in the clubhouse pounding Mai-Tais.

This is a joke. And that’s putting it very mildly.