Chicago Cubs fans, come taste the tears of salty Cardinals fans

Opening the season against the St. Louis Cardinals on the road, the Chicago Cubs head into enemy territory early – and the trash talking has already begun.

Since the contentious November presidential election, we’ve heard the phrase ‘Not my President.’ It seems that a group of St. Louis Cardinals fans are embracing that mantra when it comes to the reigning World Series champion Chicago Cubs, as well.

JoeSportsFan.com is offering a T-shirt to Cardinals Nation emblazoned with a ‘Not my World Champs’, complete with the Cubs’ ‘C’ logo.

The description of the item is as follows:

Welcome to the resistance. The Chicago Cubs are NOT my 2016 World Champions.We are clothed in a delicious blend of cotton and polyester sure to make friends jealous on Opening Day as the 11-time World Champion St. Louis Cardinals take the field against a team that hasn’t won one in over a century. Sad!RESIST!

There’s so much to unpack here. Really, it’s difficult to find the words.

But I’ll focus in on just one glaring error in this nonsense: “St. Louis Cardinals take the field against a team that hasn’t won one in over a century.”

Short-term memory loss is a very serious medical issue.

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Seeking help

According to WebMD, some of the top causes of short-term memory loss include the following:

• Alcohol, tobacco, or drug use. Excessive alcohol use has long been recognized as a cause of memory loss.
• Depression and stress. Being depressed can make it difficult to pay attention and focus, which can affect memory.
• A stroke occurs when the blood supply to the brain is stopped due to the blockage of a blood vessel to the brain or leakage of a vessel into the brain.
• Dementia. Dementia is the name for progressive loss of memory and other aspects of thinking that are severe enough to interfere with the ability to function in daily activities.

If any of these conditions are affecting you, I implore you to seek medical attention. I’m no medical professional, but I’ve found a home remedy that could set your mind right, St. Louis.

A large dose of reality.

The Chicago Cubs are the World Series champions. They defeated the Cleveland Indians in Game 7 on November 2, 2016. And, if you’re still suffering from memory loss, I want to do my best to help. You can find video of the night here and the radio call here.

A reminder of the past

The past is the past. Sure, the St. Louis Cardinals have won it all on 11 separate occasions. I’m not disputing that.

The rivalry, after last season, is now changed.

For years, it seems, the Cubs have been hopelessly chasing St. Louis in the National League Central, scarcely coming close to catching them in the standings. But, the roles have reversed over the course of the last two years.

In 2015, the Chicago Cubs knocked out the Cardinals in the National League Division Series at Wrigley Field. The series marked the teams’ first postseason showdown – and the victory belonged to Chicago.

Last season, St. Louis failed to make the postseason altogether, finishing at 86-76, a staggering 17 1/2 games behind the Cubs, who rolled to a World Series title. Vegas pegs the Cubs as World Series favorites again heading into 2017.

Chicago boasts the reigning National League MVP, Kris Bryant. Jon Lester and Kyle Hendricks, both of whom finished among the top vote-getters in Cy Young voting, headline the rotation. Joe Maddon is back at the helm, ready to guide the Cubs back to the postseason.

Next: Goose Island, Cubs hook up for new brew

Short-term memory loss plagues thousands of Americans (and apparently, a large number of St. Louis residents). Sometimes, lifestyle changes may help improve the issue. But, with how things are shaping up, the Chicago Cubs are going to be running the National League Central for years to come.

That short-term memory loss may soon turn into a long-term issue. So enjoy your shirts, priced so wittingly at $19.08.

The days of running roughshod over the Chicago Cubs are over.