Even a Dansby Swanson signing won't salvage this offseason for the Cubs

As tumultuous and chaotic as learning how to be parents has been in my house over the last week or so, it pales in comparison to the absolute dumpster fire Cubs Twitter has been. It's made for some wild middle-of-the-night diaper change and feeding content - and it's hard to see how it gets better from here.

No, but really. Fatherhood is everything I could ever ask for and more. Being a Cubs fan, well, it's... something. The final straw? After watching Trea Turner go to the Phillies (which felt inevitable from the start) and Xander Bogaerts push the Padres past the luxury tax threshold on an 11-year, $280 million deal, the death blow came on Tuesday night when Carlos Correa agreed to a 13-year, $350 million pact with the San Francisco Giants, the runner-up in the Aaron Judge sweepstakes.

Cubs have near-impossible path to a successful offseason at this point

As if the shortstop situation wasn't bad enough, the Cubs failed to land any of the top-tier starting pitchers, most notably Japanese star Kodai Senga, who joined the Mets on a five-year, $75 million contract. The catcher position is close to being a huge issue, as well, with Omar Narvaez looking like the only real option of quality left after Christian Vazquez signed a very palatable deal with the Twins and Willson Contreras left Chicago for the division rival Cardinals.

The only notable additions? Former National League MVP Cody Bellinger, who has been a shell of his former self for years and is a total wild card, even on a one-year deal. That signing is a perfect high-risk, high-reward move fora. team like the Cubs and I'm here for it, even with the risk. Jameson Taillon, while a solid starter, is no ace - and suggesting otherwise is foolish.

Throughout all this, we've heard about ownership giving Jed Hoyer and Carter Hawkins the checkbook to do business as he sees fit and we've been told over and over again that building a winner in 2023 is a top priority. Here's what Crane Kenney had to say recently - making it clear that the funds are there if the front office wants to spend (which they apparently don't, unless players cave and take deals that fly in the face of the market value).

"The business is still healthy, and that left Jed (Hoyer) with a lot of money to spend this year – like last year, where he didn’t spend all the money he had last year because he didn’t see transactions that made sense to him. I hope there are transactions that make sense to us this year to spend all the money that he has. He’s gotten off to a good start. The goal is always the same – it’s to win another championship. If a player can help us get closer to that goal, I think you’re going to see him be very aggressive …. There’s no reason to think we wouldn’t be a playoff team this year. "

- Crane Kenney, via 670 The Score

Even if the Cubs somehow manage to land Dansby Swanson (which, at this point, will probably require a massive overpay on a 30-year-old), this roster is riddled with holes: Chicago could use a catcher, another proven starting pitcher, bullpen assets and at least one impact bat.

To add insult to injury, if the Cubs flounder early on yet again, Bellinger, Marcus Stroman, Ian Happ - and plenty more - could be on the block this summer. It'll take unprecedented boldness and creativity, as well as a looseness with the checkbook we haven't seen in years, from the front office to make this offseason a success. And, frankly, we have no reason to suspect this regime has what it takes to pull it off.