Theo Epstein, Chicago Cubs President of Baseball Operations, is signing up superhumans in an effort for Cubs pitching domination
Theo Epstein is always messing with a plan for Chicago Cubs pitching domination, and his latest move may be the wackiest one or the most significant genius move yet. It’s true; Epstein’s plans don’t always work out for him like with a very expensive Cubs reliever, Brandon Morrow, who the Cubs still hope to get some action on before the inevitable next injury happens, but Epstein’s latest plan could work.
It has become quite clear to fans and critics alike that Epstein is recruiting super-human baseball pitchers. Yes, just like in the Avengers or X-Men comics and movies. Epstein’s super-humans are being groomed for Cubs pitching domination on the field. Although right now, they may be too unseasoned to just jump into ‘The Show,’ Epstein is counting on a little work and development to bring his amazing super-human pitchers to Cubs fans soon.
I’m not joking here fans; look, the Cubs new fourth-round draft pick already threw a 105 mph heater just last month and there is video evidence! Before we get to all that, let’s recall Epstein’s first Avenger.
Do you remember Cubs’ left-handed relief pitcher CD Pelham? Check out more about Pelham here. The 6 foot 6 inch Pelham has some of the longest arms in the game! Talk about a super-human, and Pelham boasts a considerable wingspan and kick that can get him right up on batters when throwing the heat.
Although Pelham was not given a roster spot and sent to the minors to fine-tune his game, his five seasons of experience and incredible arm-length should have him coasting through minor-league play until he’s called up for action.
I like to tell Missouri MLB fans that the ‘CD’ in CD Pelham stands for ‘Cardinal Destroyer’! For now, the Cardinal Destroyer will have to stay in shape if he wants to get a chance to bring his game to Wrigley Field when and if baseball resumes. If Pelham gets a break and does make a showing someday, be ready for one amazingly physical contest fans.
But Epstein has outdone himself this time, as the Cubs newly drafted lefty pitcher might just break some world records.