Chicago Cubs: Game of Thrones and the Cubs' Long Winter (Part 1)

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(Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images for Live Nation Entertainment ) /

With Game of Thrones and the Chicago Cubs in the long winter, it seems appropriate to begin our series dedicated to how the two are related.

Since Game of Thrones and Major League Baseball are in the long winter at the moment, it seems apropos to delve into something we all find awesome: A Song of Ice and Fire (ASOIAF) and The Chicago Cubs on a Sunday night.

So, in that spirit, if we had to swap out our favorite (and less than favorite) characters from GoT and insert our favorite (and less than favorite) Cubbies in their stead, who would play each part? Read on, North Side Westeros fans. That is, of course, where (Cubbie) Bear Island sits.

Game of Thrones and the Chicago Cubs have been two of the most popular franchises in the world over the last decade. In the last five years, both have experienced an exponential boom in fandom and financial success that has furthered an already solid and established fanbase.

The Cubs were able to put a crown on their recent successes with a championship in 2016. Westeros, while still looking for someone to stick on the throne, has had its own clash of kings and would-be monarchs, all while crowning its show, Game of Thrones, as the most popular brand currently on television. In the spirit of a baseball series, feast your crow’s eyes on a three-part series of Wrigleyville and Westerosi proportions.

Of course, you wanna know who my Cubs picks for Jon Snow, Daenerys Targaryen and Ned Stark are… but I’m gonna make you wait. Who will Kris Bryant, Anthony Rizzo, Javier Baez, and Kyle Schwarber be tapped to play in our GoT remix? Read on, read on.

Without further ado, we must start at the beginning: to finance this fantasy world, one needs to look no further than The Iron Bank of Braavos. And, if rich and powerful Tywin Lannister was once the Tribune Company of Westeros, The Ricketts (especially Tom, the face of the family) have to be the Iron Bank, right?

Controversial political baggage, tons of money, and financiers of some of the most powerful men and women in the world. While not entirely a “person” per se, The Iron Bank (Ricketts family) is no doubt the iron that makes the Cubs go, and sometimes that iron can be molded or squeezed to make dreams come true- for the right price, and in the right hands.

(Photo by Rich Polk/Getty Images for IMDb) /

Chicago Cubs: Every fantasy needs an author. In Geor… err Theo We Trust!

For all intents and purposes, this rendition of our favorite show begins and ends with Theo Epstein as George R.R. Martin. Genius. Creator of dreams and worlds. Sometimes reclusive and hidden in the shadows. In Theo We Trust. In George We Trust. That is, until after the fifth iteration of each man’s greatest work. After Martin’s fifth book in the ASOIAF series, A Dance with Dragons in 2011, it’s been an angsty, slow, often mercurial process to keep things going. Sound familiar?

Taking over the Cubs in late 2011, the Cubs’ fifth season under Epstein resulted in the greatest of all storybook endings, a century-old curse broken, and a bunch of dudes raising metal into the sky in a fantastical display of pageantry.

Theo Epstein did the impossible, after doing the impossible in another curse-ridden town, Boston. In ending two curses, and bringing happiness to millions, hasn’t Epstein earned his spot as the author of this great Cubs’ version of Martin’s epic series?

Let’s just hope the ending for both men includes some light at the end of the tunnel for our favorite heroes and heroines, as well as a happy ending for fans.

Chicago Cubs: I drink and I know things. That’s what I do.

If you were looking for a part for Joe Maddon to play, look no further than our favorite devilish dwarf, Tyrion Lannister. If ever there were a perfect fit for a Cubs’ character to be in Game of Thrones, it would be Joe Maddon. Cunning, witty, savvy, able to be political, but also one of the boys; he can do it all. Plus, he loves drinking wine. And, he knows lots of things.

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Give him some of the former and watch him talk about the latter. If the HBO showrunners are ever looking for a stand-in for the imp, they need look no further than the skipper’s office at 1060 W. Addison.

We already know that Joe Maddon prefers discussions of wine and worldly pursuits over work. Just ask Ian Happ, who supposedly discusses wine with Joe Maddon at length. Maybe Happer could be Tyrion’s protege in our Game of Thrones Cubs’ edition.

Though short in stature, Tyrion Lannister is the centerpiece in any room or scene, as his wits and tongue center him as the man with the answers, and the man in charge.

Joe Maddon may not be the biggest guy in the world, but when he talks, great men listen and follow. He has the respect and admiration of many of our favorite heroes and has led them to victory before as he will lead them again. (Hopefully in 2019)

Chicago Cubs: A man of many roles and positions

Ben Zobrist, often described as Joe Maddon’s “swiss-army knife,” is certainly more than used to playing different roles and wearing different faces. In fact, you might even say that he’s the faceless man because he will be whatever Joe Maddon needs him to be.

Jaqen H’ghar is one of the most mysterious and simultaneously likable characters in the Game of Thrones’ world. He has served as advisor and mentor to Arya Stark since season 1, eventually producing another faceless (wo)man who becomes, essentially, no one.

While Arya has finished her training and is fully versed in the ways of the faceless men by the end of Season 6, and certainly by the end of Season 7 where we sit right now, no one would be surprised if Jaqen makes a final cameo in his last season and has a part to play in a defining battle for Westeros.

Who better amongst the current Cubs to serve as mentor for a group of youngsters in such an unassuming and less-than-glorious role than Ben Zobrist? Zobrist is a master batsman at the plate when healthy, fighting off any pitcher, and always coming through in the clutch. He is able to wear many faces (gloves) and move all over the field seamlessly and effortlessly, providing stability and competence wherever he goes.

And while he was the 2016 World Series MVP, he rarely receives the credit he is due for his leadership, production, and wily ways. He is able to slink into the shadows and go unnoticed amongst other big names on the team, but when you least expect it and need him most, he is there, reminding us: “Valar Dohaeris” and “Valar Morghulis.” (Doesn’t this sound like something Joe Maddon would put on a t-shirt?) Zobrist has no doubt served the Cubs well, and also serves as a gentle reminder that this era of Cubs’ baseball will one day come to an end.

(Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images) /

Chicago Cubs: Intimidating – regardless of age

Jake Arrieta, once the most feared man on the “mountain,” has become dead to most Cubs’ fans and has since seen his career resurrected in Philadelphia. He isn’t really the same guy he used to be, but he can still be intimidating as heck.

The right-hander was the most feared pitcher on the planet in 2015. He had the best half season anyone this side of Bob Gibson and Cy Young has ever had. He threw two no-hitters in the span of a year and had as good a year of baseball as any pitcher has ever had when you combine his 2015 second half and 2016 first half. He was the man.

Hitters wet themselves before they went up to the box. No one had a chance. When Pittsburgh fans trash-talked him on Twitter before the NL Wild Card Game in 2015, he plainly said, “whatever helps keep your hope alive, just know, it doesn’t matter,” and then went out and threw a shutout making big league hitters look like little leaguers. He looked like a man among boys.

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Hmmmm. You’re saying we need someone who can squash mere mortals’ skulls and look intimidating just walking around? Looks like we’ve found The Mountain.

What the heck, Game of Thrones producers have changed the guy three times anyhow, why not go for a fourth? (OK, OK Thor is pretty much the biggest dude on the planet, so maybe he can finish out the show).

But, if we were going to recast the show with Cubs’ guys, wouldn’t Jake have to play “The Mountain That Rides?” We could just call him “The Mountain(Man) Who Wins,” as our once-favorite bearded pitcher compiled a career 68-31 record while with the Cubs.

And, while Jake is basically dead to many Cubs’ fans (just as The Mountain is really no longer alive), he is still intimidating at times taking the hill while looking a bit different in red pinstripes.

Chicago Cubs: The patronly figure in the clubhouse and kingdom

While David Ross didn’t have to lose his head following the 2016 season finale, he certainly lives on in the hearts of fans and his Cubs’ family in much the same fashion as the quintessential Stark leader.

Ned Stark might be most celebrated and iconic character never to make it past the first season of a long-running TV show ever. In fact, most fans have such a soft spot for the former patriarch of the Stark clan, they haven’t allowed anyone else to take that space in the seven years since his death. Sure, Jon Snow is popular, Arya is a feisty assassin, and Daenerys has stolen the hearts of many fans.

But, but, but… Ned Stark pressing his weight on Ice, his now halved Valyrian Steel sword, looking sullen, stern, and decisive against the coming winter is the iconic snapshot (and best Winter meme ever) of the entire series. Ned was stoic, valiant, chivalrous, loving, stern, and brimming with integrity to a tragic fault. He captured the hearts of fans with his tough love and fatherly ways, was burdened by the knowledge of who his “bastard son” really was, and dealt with shame for his actions despite being the most honorable man basically ever.

Who could play such a grandiose figure? Who could fill the shoes of this fallen tragic hero? None other than Papa Rossy. His name says it all. How is it possible that a backup journeyman backstop could become so beloved in Wrigleyville?

Well, winning a World Series and being the team “dad” sorta has its privileges. From his antics driving a Rascal around in Spring Training to an epic Game 7 home run in the World Series off the best reliever on the planet in 2016 (Andrew Miller), Papa Rossy stole the hearts of every Cub fan (especially the Catelyn Starks of the Cubs’ world) and parlayed his success that year into an SNL appearance, Dancing with the Stars runner-up performance, a gig at ESPN, and a special assistant position with the Cubs.

And, while Papa Rossy didn’t have to lose his head a la Ned Stark, many fans and players still hold the iconic patriarchs close to their hearts and yearn for a day when all that they once represented will once again reign supreme. (and Jon Snow and Bryzzo with some hardware might be nice too).

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Be on the lookout for the second and third part of this Game of Thrones-Cubs mashup series. Daenerys and Jon Snow still to come!

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Chicago Cubs: Game of Thrones and the Cubs’ Long Winter (Part 1)