Chicago Cubs: New Year’s resolution to be more optimistic fans

Chicago Cubs fans have been fortunate these past few years. But for some, a winning ball club simply isn’t enough. 

After more than a century of perennial losing, the Chicago Cubs organization has finally figured things out. Over the past three years, the Cubs have won 292 games. And they won the World Series in 2016. A good chunk of the fanbase isn’t satisfied, though.

It’s almost as if, after a taste of championship life, anything less than a World Series victory is unacceptable. Only 92 wins last season? Unacceptable. Every big free agent didn’t sign with the Cubs? Unacceptable. Didn’t trade for every star on the market? Unacceptable.

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Suggestions for the organization

Despite the recent fickleness of a good number of Cubs fans, they’ve had to put up with a lot. They deserve the best this team has to offer. So here’s what the organization can do to please everyone.

Replace the Harry Caray statue with a Ron Coomer statue

Out with the old, in with the new. Harry Caray was great and all, but the Cubs did nothing but lose while he was the voice of the franchise. Time to commemorate a winning voice. One that saw the Cubs win their first championship in over 100 years. Namely, Ron Coomer, everyone’s favorite color analyst.

Replace the bleachers with recliner chairs

Less bleacher butt syndrome means fewer angry fans. Comfort is the name of the game. Just imagine a couple of thousand La-Z Boy recliners looking over the outfield. Complete with cup-holders and kegs of beer for each row. What better way to enjoy a Cubs baseball game than by feeling like you’re still sitting at home?

Make Wrigley an indoor stadium

Still, on the issue of comfort at the ballpark, it can be pretty cold in the early and late months of the season at Wrigley Field. Easy fix: turn Wrigley Field into “The Wrigley Dome.” Just like fans want the players to be consistently great, the ballpark should be consistently 71 degrees Fahrenheit. Wrigley has been a dilapidated relic of a stadium for too long. Ever been to Tropicana Field? Now that’s a ballpark.

Let the fans vote on free agent signings and trades

Theo Epstein did his part by bringing a World Series trophy back to the North Side. But let’s face it, the Cubs are sliding. They only won 92 games last year after winning 103 games in 2016. That’s a disturbing trend. The best way to keep everyone happy is to let them vote on team transactions. If Epstein had listened to the fans and catered to their every desire, perhaps the Cubs would have made it further than just the NLCS.

Next: Should the Cubs bring back Jon Jay?

There you have it. That’s how the Chicago Cubs can make the Friendly Confines just a little bit friendlier. We could be less pessimistic fans in 2018, but really the Cubs should just be working harder to put us in a better mood. Happy New Year!

*Editor’s note: If this wasn’t apparent to you to be sarcasm, hopefully, it is now. 😉