Chicago Cubs: What if players were characters from Star Wars?

Theo Epstein – Shiv Palpatine

In the Star Wars universe, there are few as cunning and inventive as Shiv Palpatine, whom most of you know better as the Emperor or Darth Sidious. In Major League Baseball, those same terms can easily be applied to Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein.

Now, I don’t know if Theo is planning a galactic takeover or wiping out democracy, but he’s got the baseball world on lockdown. After ending the Curse of the Bambino in Boston in 2004, he came to Chicago and turned the Cubs from a laughingstock into a perennial powerhouse.

Most of the time, Theo’s making moves and taking calls we never even hear about. When the Cubs traded for Jose Quintana last summer, the deal came out of nowhere, catching most of us off-guard. Of course, Palpatine caught the entire galaxy off-guard, but in a much darker sense.

I’m not saying Theo Epstein is an evil mastermind. But I am saying he’s a mastermind. In my mind, there is no one better at what he does – juggling multiple balls in the air perfectly – all while keeping a calm, cool face on to the public.