Chicago Cubs: What if players were characters from Star Wars?

In honor of the release of the latest installment in the Star Wars saga, we thought it might be fun to pair Chicago Cubs with their Star Wars counterparts.

After successfully avoiding any spoilers, I took in ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ Thursday night – and it did not disappoint. I have no doubt folks will have their gripes about it, but I left there darn-near speechless about the latest installment in the Star Wars saga. As my wife and I were driving home around 2 A.M., my sleep-deprived mind wound up trying to connect the Chicago Cubs and Star Wars.

And, now that I’m rested and the sun is out, I still regret nothing.

But first, some details. Trying to pair members of the Cubs organization with characters from Star Wars requires some creativity. I’m not saying these are easy-to-connect relationships. In fact, some required me to really ponder before pairing them up. You might have different ideas – and that’s fine. This is just for fun, so try to enjoy it.

I didn’t bother getting into the extended universe or the animated series. For argument’s sake, I stuck to the nine films – Episodes I through VIII and ‘Rogue One.’ Without further ado, let’s begin. May the Force be with you.

Kyle Hendricks – C-3PO

The Professor. This might be the easiest one of them all.

Kyle Hendricks has long been known as a mental pitcher. He breaks the game down and executes logical plans near-flawlessly. He seems completely emotionless when he’s on the mound, relying on a cool demeanor under pressure – not letting tension get to him.

On the flip side, sure, C-3PO panics a bit when the odds aren’t in his favor, but he relies purely on his programming to make decisions. Fluent in over six million forms of communication, he’s had his share of adventures – delivering in some tight situations.

In the latest installments of the Star Wars saga, he’s played somewhat minor roles after a larger presence in both the original and prequel trilogies. Still, he’s bringing his dry humor to the big screen – much the same as Hendricks continues to bring his no-nonsense approach to the mound for the Cubs.

Ben Zobrist – Qui-Gon Jinn

Before you bother commenting about it, let’s just address the elephant in the room: I don’t have images for every Star Wars character. That’s not the point here. Stay with me.

Qui-Gon had an unfortunately short run in the Star Wars franchise, but what a run it was. Ben Zobrist spent years with the Tampa Bay Rays before catching cups of coffee with Oakland and Kansas City. He won a title with the Royals before bringing one to the North Side, as well.

He has much to pass on to the next generation of baseball players. He truly epitomizes a professional hitter, working counts and seeing pitches unlike any other player on this roster. Similarly, Qui-Gon offers a lot to young Obi-Wan Kenobi, his Padawan apprentice.

Of course, Qui-Gon plays a bit of an infamous role, as well. He discovers Anakin Skywalker on Tatooine and, despite the Jedi Council’s wishes, works to train him as a Jedi. That Jedi, as we all know now, goes on to become Darth Vader and destroys the Jedi Order as it was known.

I don’t think Zobrist is poised to tear down the Cubs. But I do think his wisdom and even-keeled approach to the game makes him one of the most valuable leaders in the clubhouse.

Willson Contreras – Chewbacca

There are few players in the game who play with as much unbridled enthusiasm and passion as Willson Contreras. Known for beating his chest after big plays and snap throws that catch unsuspecting runners off-guard, Contreras is a very big part of the team’s future.

If not for injury, he may very well have made a run at a 30-home run, 100-RBI season in 2017. Still, he was sidelined and it cost him a decent chunk of time. Sure, the Cubs had other names in his place but it’s not quite the same.

Chewbacca and his bowcaster have undoubtedly left their mark in the Star Wars universe. From helping Luke, Leia and Han escape the Death Star in Episode IV to partnering with Rey aboard the Millennium Falcon in more recent films, he’s an integral part of the story.

Most importantly, loyalty is everything to Chewie. And anyone who has seen Willson Contreras play the game knows he’s ready to do anything to defend his teammates and that Cubs logo on his chest.

Addison Russell – Lando Calrissian

I actually went back-and-forth between Addison Russell and Javier Baez when it comes to Lando Calrissian. In the end, Addi won out in this one because, let’s be honest, there are few smoother than he is in the field.

His work with the glove speaks for itself. Along with Baez, he forms one-half of one of the best double-play combinations in the league. This winter, when you’re talking about potentially trading one of the Cubs’ young pieces, this is a name that keeps coming up. People near-universally prefer Baez to Russell due to his high ceiling – leaving Russell to play a valuable second-fiddle up the middle.

As for Lando, there’s no one who can talk his way out of a situation quite like he does (not even Han Solo). The once-administrator of Cloud City on Bespin, Lando Calrissian plays a big role in both ‘Empire Strikes Back’ and ‘Return of the Jedi,’ doing what he needs to do to help restore the balance to the Force.

Jon Lester – General Leia Organa

Oh, boy. Here we go.

I don’t know if Jon Lester would agree with this. In fact, I can say pretty confidently he wouldn’t. But I’m going to make my case the best I can. First, let me say. I’m linking Lester to General Organa, the character you see in the latest installments of the saga (The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi). This is an important distinction.

Three years ago (to the day), the veteran southpaw chose to come to the Cubs, giving a young ball club a battle-tested leader to take charge in the clubhouse and on the mound. The 2015 season culminated in an NCLS appearance. That was followed by a World Series title in 2016 and another NLCS berth last year.

Without Lester, I don’t think this team learns how to battle through the ‘lows’ and stay even-keeled on the ‘highs.’ He represented hope to this fan base and the city, even. He brought years of fighting the good fight to the table and became the figurehead for a team desperately looking to end a reign of losing that had, more or less, spanned decades.

When the Cubs signed Jon Lester, I knew things weren’t going to be the same. Without General Leia Organa leading the Resistance, the First Order may have wiped them off the face of the galaxy without so much as a second thought.

Theo Epstein – Shiv Palpatine

In the Star Wars universe, there are few as cunning and inventive as Shiv Palpatine, whom most of you know better as the Emperor or Darth Sidious. In Major League Baseball, those same terms can easily be applied to Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein.

Now, I don’t know if Theo is planning a galactic takeover or wiping out democracy, but he’s got the baseball world on lockdown. After ending the Curse of the Bambino in Boston in 2004, he came to Chicago and turned the Cubs from a laughingstock into a perennial powerhouse.

Most of the time, Theo’s making moves and taking calls we never even hear about. When the Cubs traded for Jose Quintana last summer, the deal came out of nowhere, catching most of us off-guard. Of course, Palpatine caught the entire galaxy off-guard, but in a much darker sense.

I’m not saying Theo Epstein is an evil mastermind. But I am saying he’s a mastermind. In my mind, there is no one better at what he does – juggling multiple balls in the air perfectly – all while keeping a calm, cool face on to the public.

Jason Heyward – Darth Vader

As a youngster playing for the Atlanta Braves, Jason Heyward was a joy to watch. That is, until he joined the St. Louis Cardinals, turning to the Dark Side and changing how I viewed him as a player.

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With St. Louis, he was an elite player – the whole package. He ran well, fired off a cannon on a near-nightly basis in right field and carried a bat filled with line drives. Then, after the 2015 season in which the Cubs knocked the Cardinals out of the postseason, he came to the Light.

Signing a franchise-record contract, Heyward came to Chicago, playing his part in the team’s 2016 World Series championship. Much the same as Vader turned from the Dark Side at the end of Return of the Jedi, Heyward redeemed himself when he joined the Cubs.

Another Vader quote from ‘Rogue One’ fits pretty well, too. “Be careful not to choke on your aspirations.” Heyward still has a long ways to go in his deal and, to many, he’s underperformed. His aspirations, I’m sure, remain as high as ever. But it’s imperative he follows Darth Vader’s advice to Director Orson Krennic and delivers moving forward.

Joe Maddon – Yoda

Long before Joe Maddon took over as manager of the Chicago Cubs, he’s been known for being a bit quirky. He’s practically brought a zoo into the clubhouse in both Chicago and Tampa Bay and, since coming to Wrigley, his ‘Maddonisms’ have become increasingly popular.

‘Try not to suck,’ seems a whole lot like ‘Do or do not. There is to try.’  Of course, he’s got dozens of other sayings, as well. But he’s always had a profound way of connecting with players on a deep level while leading his field in forward-thinking measures. This was another of the pairings that seemed to figure itself out pretty quickly.

As for Yoda, we see two very distinct versions of the Jedi Master. In the prequel trilogy, we’re introduced to a fierce warrior whose skill with the lightsaber is unrivaled. But in the originals, we see an aged and tired leader, hoping to pass on what he knows to a new generation of Jedi in Luke Skywalker.

The Cubs’ skipper surely falls more in the prequel realm of Yoda, but his wisdom and frankness definitely captures some of the other, as well. Remember. “Always pass on what you have learned.”

Kyle Schwarber – Rey

“I know all about waiting.”

Rey spent a good chunk of her life waiting for her family to return to her on Jakku. That day never came. After meeting Finn, she wound up on a path wildly different than what she expected, eventually seeking out Luke Skywalker to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi.

But she did her waiting. As did Kyle Schwarber.

After bursting onto the scene in a big way in 2015, Schwarber suffered a season-ending knee injury in April 2016. He returned in the World Series, putting up incredible numbers for having seen next to zero live pitching in six months. But, then he disappointing this year, struggling through a disappointing campaign.

With one final installment in the Skywalker Saga left, Rey’s future is an unclear as Schwarber’s. Will either live up to the promise they exhibit or will they ultimately fall short, leaving those around them questioning a path forward?

Time will tell. But something tells me both are far from done writing their stories.

Albert Almora – Captain Cassian Andor

More often than not, Albert Almora doesn’t get enough love. He’s a team player, though, through and through. He does all the little things that help a team have success. And, for that reason, he’s one of my favorite players on this Cubs team.

Remember in the 2016 NLDS against San Francisco when he made a miraculous diving catch in right field to save the game? Or what about his pinch-running in the World Series? These aren’t glorious jobs – but he always comes through. No matter the odds.

In ‘Rogue One’, Cassian Andor served a similar purpose. A longtime member of the Rebellion, Andor had lost everything – and would give anything to see it succeed. He proved to be an integral part of getting the stolen Death Star plans to the Rebel fleet. This set in motion the course of events that spanned the entire Star Wars saga.

He’s a team player. What the team needs, he delivers. What the Cubs need, Almora will do. Always.

Anthony Rizzo – Obi-Wan Kenobi

The undisputed leader of the Chicago Cubs, Anthony Rizzo has been through it all. He survived the rebuild, playing on the North Side long before it became a hot spot for top free agents.

He has become a close friend and mentor to Kris Bryant, who is quickly rising to the top of the crop when it comes to young players in the game. Already with a World Series ring, Rookie of the Year and an MVP award to his name, KB is the future for the Cubs. But he wouldn’t be where he is without his teammate across the diamond in Rizzo.

Obi-Wan Kenobi plays an key role in the Star Wars story, training both Anakin Skywalker and his son, Luke. He served as a general in the Clone Wars, at the peak of the Jedi Order’s power – and saw it all come crashing down around him. He knows the good and the bad when it comes to his life – much the same as Rizzo.

He’s been here for the winning and the losing. And, as he transitioned from young star to veteran leader, he’s continued to develop. A true leader on and off the field, he is what you want on any team.

Fiesty, at times, both Obi-Wan and Rizzo don’t back down from a fight. Ever. They’ve both left unalterable marks on their respective legacies – and yet, somehow have more to write

Kris Bryant – Luke Skywalker

The one who brings balance back to the Force. The face of the franchise. The legend. The hero.

There are more similarities between Kris Bryant and Luke Skywalker than I can count. But really, it comes down to one main connection. Without either, their respective causes would never have achieved success.

With Skywalker, he rose to challenge his father’s supremacy over the galaxy, ultimately leading to the fall of the Empire. He then went on to become a leader in the Republic, even training a new generation of Jedi. Of course, his story with Rey is still being written, but his mark will undoubtedly be left on the galaxy.

Bryant exploded onto the scene and, since joining the Cubs, is yet to miss a postseason. That hadn’t been done over a three-year span on over a century before 2015 to 2017. We’re talking about a generational talent – one with the power to shift the balance in the league and lead the Cubs to unforeseen heights.

Next: Is Maddon already one of the best Cubs skippers ever?

No matter how you feel about these comparisons, make sure you check out the FanSided site dedicated to all things Star Wars, Dork Side of the Force. And, as we head toward the holidays and move past the Winter Meetings, may the Force be with you.