Chicago Cubs: What candy would the players be on Halloween

The Chicago Cubs have a lot going on as an organization right now, so you know what I’m going to talk about?  Candy!

Almost everybody loves candy, and with Halloween around the corner, there’s no better time than now to bring this up. You know you probably have a bag at home and are wondering, “which player would this one be?”

I’m going to go through the major players here, so sorry I don’t know what kind of candy Taylor Teagarden would be. Maybe black licorice? You don’t often see it in the candy bowl–or the majors.

I understand that these may be polarizing opinions.  I just want to make it clear that these are my thoughts and they don’t represent the views of my fellow writers.  Just having a little bit of fun with Halloween around the corner.

Albert Almora Jr. – Pretzel M&M’s

Almora is fantastic, but I don’t feel like I don’t see enough of him.  Pretzel M&M’s are great, but they aren’t that ‘popular’ a candy.

Jon Jay – Butterfinger

Jon Jay and Butterfingers are reliable, they aren’t going to blow you away, but at the same time, you know what you’re getting.

Jason Heyward – Payday

People seemingly always complain about Heyward’s contract, but like the Payday bar, it’s taken for granted and has a great glove.  Wait…what?

Ben Zobrist – 3 Musketeers

Zobrist doesn’t seem like he has enough oomph just like 3 Musketeers.  They’re both overrated and run their course.

Ian Happ – Oreo Chocolate Candy Bar

Both are new, and we haven’t seen enough of them yet.  But they both have a lot of potential to be a force to be reckoned with.

Kyle Schwarber – Jelly Beans

I don’t like Jelly Beans; I think they should trade Jelly Beans for something else.  They stick to my teeth, and they can’t play left field.

Jon Lester – Peanut M&M’s

Always a great choice, one of the best year-in and year-out.  Sometimes they have their flaws like they give up ten runs in the first or you get a bad peanut-to-shell ratio, but other than that, they’re great when October rolls around.

Kyle Hendricks – Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Bar

Both are boring, but classics at the same time.

Jake Arrieta – Hershey’s Kisses Special Dark

Jake Arrieta is in great shape, but the Cubs might lose him in this upcoming offseason.  Special Dark Kisses are good for you, but you always find a way to lose some.

Jose Quintana – Kit Kat

Everyone has a different opinion about Kit Kat’s.  Some people love them, and other people don’t think that he’s a front of the rotation starter.  I love Kit Kat’s, and I believe they are a good option at two going forward.

John Lackey – Big Red

I know it’s gum, but you know what I’m going for.

Wade Davis – Plain M&M’s

Also one of the best in the game, but they don’t have much flavor.

Hector Rondon – Almond Joy

They’re both bad.

Justin Wilson – Mounds

I don’t like coconut or Justin Wilson.

Pedro Strop – Starburst

A lot of flavor, but sometimes they aren’t that good and stick to your teeth.

Mike Montgomery – Milky Way

People think that Montgomery’s good just because he got the last out of the World Series.  While that’s appreciated, Montgomery and Milky Way almost always seem to disappoint.

Carl Edward’s Jr. – Heath

Sometimes they’re great, other times they stick to your teeth and ruin your afternoon.

Next: No need for Yelich, we've got Almora

So there you have it. Again, these are personal opinions and just for fun. Think that somebody should have been represented by a different candy? Let us know in the comments! There are no right or wrong answers here. Just know that talk of Almond Joy amongst the staff almost started a riot. We’re apparently a divided site–when it comes to coconut.