Cubs Discover Winning Recipe

At last, the Chicago Cubs have found a recipe for consistently winning games.

Start with a big slab of Milwaukee Brewers, the other team in the NL Central that has had a woefully disappointing season, then slather on a thick layer of post-Milton Bradley clubhouse looseness, sprinkle in a dash of Tyler Colvin, cook with the heat from Derrek Lee’s bat, add garnish and serve.

It’s a very tasty dish, but unfortunately, it won’t do anything to fatten your playoff hopes.

Rational Cubs Fan replies, “What playoff hopes would those be?  The ones I gave up a month ago?”

Maniac Cubs Fan says, “We’re still mathematically alive.  Harry Caray wouldn’t have given up and neither should we.”

Memo to Maniac Cubs Fan:  Harry Caray was a drunk.

Cubs Player says, “We gave up a long time ago.  That’s why we’re playing so loose now.  And it doesn’t hurt that Dr. Hendry has finally removed that tumor called Milton Bradley.”

Rational Cubs Fan replies, “Really?  We’re going with the ‘It Was All Milton’s Fault’ excuse?  Whatever happened to ‘When I point a finger at you three fingers point back at me.’  Or whatever.”

Cubs Player says, “Sorry, can’t hear you.  I’m having too much fun enjoying baseball again now that Milton Bradley has been banished.”

Convenient.