And so ends the largest Chicago manhunt since Tommy Lee Jones was calling for “a hard target search of every outhouse and henhouse in a 30 mile radius….”
The beer chucker has turned himself in and offered these comments outside a Chicago police station:
Thanks for apologizing for embarrassing the Cubs organization. After getting swept by the Phillies at home, they were doing a great job without your help.
Have the Cubs hit rock-bottom? If not, they’re getting awfully close. But fear not Cubs fans, the Pirates are headed in for a weekend set, so all should be well in Wrigleyville this weekend.